Father's day is tomorrow, well technically today since it is 12:19. I already have half of my FaceBook posting about father's day and how their dad is the "best dad ever", and all this other sweet and mushy stuff. I'm not trying to be negative, and I do love that these people truly look up to their father's and see them as a role model. Me on the other hand, am having a hard time saying just half of what everybody is saying. My dad wasn't a HORRIBLE dad, but I wouldn't say I look up to him either. However, I have learned what to not take from guys, and things that I know I don't want in a boyfriend, or husband (for future). He has secretly shown me how I should not raise my kids, and I am learning from the way he has treated his. Again, he is not a terrible father and I love my dad. In a way I do constantly strive for his approval, and his love for me, which usually I end up upset with the outcome.
I was sitting here looking at all of the posts on FaceBook in tears wishing I had a father who let me dance on his feet as a child, who would take me fishing even though I would have screamed at the thought of putting an innocent worm on the hook, and I don't even want to think about how I would react to a fish ending up on the end of that line. I wish I had a father who came to all of my events and was the loudest in the crowd when it was my turn to perform, who brought me roses to a dance recital, who called me just to say hi, who took me on "father-daughter" dates to show that I am special, who treated women with respect, and would have taught me not to let a man treat me differently. My father has done a lot for me financially, but I am having a hard time remembering when he showed me he loved me without buying me something, or bringing up the fact of all the stuff he has bought me in my life here on Earth.
In all honesty, I wouldn't care if my dad just quit with everything financially and just started to call me on a daily basis just to check up on me, who would send me a letter just to tell me he was thinking about me, who would want to spend some father daughter time together without drinking. I don't want to dwell on that though. I want to focus on another Father of mine. A father that isn't exactly on this earth but has been a father for me from day 1 and will forever be a father. I might not have realized how much he has been for me in the past but now I see how true he always has been. It doesn't matter whether your father is a great father, an absent father, still living, or has passed away, you will always always always have a father. Your father created you just the way you are. He loved you before you were born. He knows everything about you, and still cares for you through your messes. He forgives you, and took nails in his hands and feet for you. He loved YOU enough to die a painful death for you even though he knew you would betray him, deny him to your friends, and sin against him, and yet he still showed his love for you. That's a father. One who is there for you through the ups and the downs. Who never leaves you nor forsakes you. Who wants you to run to him and dance on his feet. Turn to him. He loves you , cares for you, wants you to share your heart with him. Pour it out. Don't dwell on the hurtful things from your earthly father, instead turn to the perfect heavenly father that created you! He won't let you down, I promise!(: